Spankings and Whippings are Not OK

Father Gives Son Whooping For Acting Up In School Papa Don’t Play That: Father Beats Son Like He Stole Something For Acting Up At School Video Posted on March 26, 2014 - By Bossip Staff. My dad made me put clothes on, mom would tell me to pull pants down, but it had nothing to do with sexual abuse. I had callous’s from my dad’s whippings. Pants down was only way mom could even hurt me a little. But it was very rare for her to whip me. So clothes off doesn’t necessarily mean anything, except they want to make sure you feel it. The worst part was that I woke up dry, but someone was in the bathroom and I couldn't go so it became wet. For the next month everyone sat there pulling down my pants to make sure I'm not wet. I still have people asking me if I need a diaper change.

John D. Moore, PhD

In recent days, we have been hearing a number of stories about NFL players and domestic violence. While I recognize these issues are important, I would like to focus this post on the topic of abuse involving children. As you may be aware, Minnesota Vikings star player, Adrian Peterson, was recently charged with child abuse by prosecutors in Montgomery County, Texas.

I feel have some insight into this topic, given my personal experiences. I’d like to take a moment to share some of these with you and offer my thoughts as a counselor and educator.

Getting Spanked

When I was a young boy growing up in South-East Texas, discipline in our home was carried out by my adoptive father. And so whenever my twin brother or I misbehaved, it was common place for us to get spanked.

But what did getting spanked mean?

Well, I will tell you. For us, it meant that we had to pull our pants and underwear down to our ankles and lay down flat on the bed. Then, my pops would take a leather belt to our bare behinds and strike us repeatedly. While one of us was getting “spanked” the other one was forced to watch … and wait. Usually, our “dad” felt his job was done when welts appeared on our backsides.

This, however, was not the most feared form of discipline. There were always the whippings.

Whippings

Whippings were reserved for occasions when our pops flew into a rage over something we did that offended him. Examples included cursing, rough housing or not showing proper respect. We knew we were in for it when he told one of us to, “Go get the switch”.

Still getting whoopens with pants downtown

What did go get the switch mean?

It meant grabbing a tree branch from outside and de-leafing it down to nothing more than bare wood. The end result was a 14-15 inch stick, replete with razor sharp nodules that cut deep into the skin. I can still remember being told to fetch a branch from one of the Water Oak Trees down the road because they were apparently for “whoopins”. Yep, that is what he called it – a whoopin.

Our pops would always tell us before we got whooped that it would hurt him more than it would hurt us. He also told us that he was doing it because he loved us.

Spanking, Whipping and Child Abuse

The entire matter regarding former Minnesota Vikings Adrian Peterson and allegations of abuse has sparked a national dialogue about the fine line that exists between parental discipline and abuse. As the conversations have begun to intensity, some people with notoriety have started to chime in.

Charles Barkley, former NBA Hall of Famer stated on NFL Today that, “Whipping – we do that all the time. Every black parent in the South is going to be in jail under those circumstances”.

Barkley went on to say that he felt Peterson went overboard. “Sure. I think those pictures are disturbing. And I think Adrian said, ‘I went overboard.’ But as far as being from the South, we all spanked our kids. I got spanked, me and my two brothers.”

Note: If you have not seen the pictures, perhaps you should. I am posting a link to the NY Post story with photographs here but I am cautioning you now that they are disturbing.

Other sports players have commented as well, including former NBA star Tracy McGrady. “Am I the only one that got hit with a switch? I had to go outside and pick my own switch. It taught values, respect (and) accountability”. McGrady later back-tracked his comments a bit and tweeted, “Disciplining a child is vital. Of course any early physical punishment should be within reason, not overboard, and inside certain boundaries.”

Cultural Influences

As Mark Joseph Stern pointed out in Slate, Corporal punishment (aka spanking and whipping) was a widely accepted practice back in the 1800’s. Things did not really begin to change until the 1900s. In fact, the term child abuse didn’t show up in today’s lexicon until the 1960s.

According to the research, the long term effects of spanking on a child can include:

Alternative Forms of Discipline

Lots of parents believe that Corporal punishment is sometimes needed in order to put a child in their place. And I understand that kids often push buttons that cry out for discipline.

But before you think of raising a hand to your child (or a belt or stick) I hope you will consider other powerful approaches for effective discipline that are non-violent in nature.

Be sure to read about the psychological impact striking childrencan have in my open letter to parents who abuse their children. Consider anger management counseling if you are concerned about how you are disciplining your child.

Final Thoughts

To strike a child in the name of “love” is to buy into the myths of spanking. There is nothing loving about inflicting physical, emotional and psychological scars on a child through spankings and whippings.

That’s not love – that’s abuse.

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Spankings and Whippings are Not OK

Still Getting Whoopens With Pants Down Syndrome

John D. Moore, PhD

I feel have some insight into this topic, given my personal experiences. I’d like to take a moment to share some of these with you and offer my thoughts as a counselor and educator.

Getting Spanked

But what did getting spanked mean?